Hope in a Heartbeat
by Nina of the Galaxy
Summary: They don't think about each other. But when they come face to face, old feelings resurface. Maybe the pain is worth it, when the love is there.
1. Hope in a Heartbeat

Title: Hope in a Heartbeat  
Words: 2550  
Genre: Romance/Light Angst  
Pairing: Matt/Laurel, Karen/Foggy  
Status: done-ish?  
Summary: They don't think about each other. But when they come face to face, old feelings resurface. Maybe the pain is worth it, when the love is there.

* * *

They are in New York. She doesn't think about it. Doesn't think about the last time she was here. Doesn't think about the people she met here. They needed Barbara and Tatsu and that was it, she promised herself. Only a short trip and then it was time to get down to business tomorrow.

She doesn't think about him.

But she does find a church, some place quiet, where she can be alone with her thoughts for awhile, because no one will bother her if they think she is asking God for guidance.

She doesn't even hear the doors open again, too engrossed in looking at the stained glass and thinking about what it all means. "Lord, give me strength to fight, and the courage to do what needs to be done," She whispered to herself.

He noticed something off when he came in. It smelled differently. It wasn't only Father Lantom in the church, but someone else, someone familiar. They smelled like expensive perfume, a shimmer of gym sweat, and had a tropical body wash and hair product.

He doesn't think about the person who embodied all of those scents though. She was supposed to be saving her city. He's smelled those things before and attempted to talk to them, but it was never her.

He doesn't think about her.

She turned and got out of her pew and she saw him standing there. "Matty?" She said, softly, like his name is a prayer.

"Laur?" He choked out, because hearing her voice, god it sounds the same.

She nodded. Then she laughed a laugh mixed with other emotion, the undercurrent of missing you and relief. "I just nodded. Sorry, god Matty, I just I..." She said.

"Don't apologize," He said as he took her into his arms. "You don't know how long I've wanted to do that," He said and smiled down at her.

She shrugged. "I think I might I have a pretty good idea," She told him as she put her head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. It was so distinct, thumping across his chest.

He rubbed her neck, gently and breathed her in. Her scent, her sounds, the feel of her skin underneath his fingers.

It was different being next to her after all of these years, she felt different in his arms, her heart spiked when he moved his arm over a bruise on her side, her hair was styled differently, had a slightly different texture, but her breathing was more confident.

Father Lantom came up and cleared his throat, "Should we reschedule?" He asked, trying not to disturb the moment, very aware that something was going on, but not quite sure what it was.

Laurel took her head off his chest and parted from him. "You should see him Matty, but what are you doing tonight for dinner?" She asked him.

He shook his head. "Nothing I know of. Might be meeting up with Foggy and Karen, but I can do that another time," He chuckled, "Why?"

"You should come to dinner with me. Barb and her friend Tatsu are coming. And some of my friends. We could catch up," She said with a smile that he could hear, that made his heart flutter.

He nodded, "I'll tell Foggy then."

"Only if you tell them to join us," She said, the cheer in her voice evident.

He nodded again. "Give me the address," He said. "We'll be there."

It didn't take that long to get to Barbara Gordon's loft in the middle of Manhattan, but when Laurel did, she positively glowed with excitement. She came bouncing in, practically.

"What's got you so tickled pink?" Barbara asked in a lilting voice.

Laurel chuckled. "You're not gonna believe it," She said. She hardly believed it herself. This kind of thing did not happen to her. At all.

"I'll believe just about anything, seen some crazy stuff in my day," Barbara flat out laughed.

Laurel shook her head. "I want it to be a surprise," She said to Barbara. "We have enough room at the restaurant for three more people though, right?" She asked.

The Ms. Gordon nodded, curious as to what kind of surprised needed that specific information. "The restaurant's all ours tonight," She said, "Who you bringing?" She asked because three meant more than just a man coming to dinner.

Laurel shook her head. "You'll see," She promised.

She went in the back and pulled up the directions on her computer and called Matt to tell him where exactly where Chapter 52 was located. He told her, he would be there.

"You two should dance," Foggy suggested as he practically pushed them together and pushed them out on the dancefloor that Chapter 52 had, a great big patio space that had a DJ playing at one end of it.

Felicity saw Laurel dancing with someone she didn't know. Laurel looked positively happy as they came together and fell apart. The man seemed to be having a pretty good time to. "Who's that?" She asked Barbara.

"Matthew Murdock," Barbara said and smiled. "Laurel met Foggy, his best friend, in her Human Rights and Film Class, and Foggy decided it would be good for them to study group. And Matt and Foggy you practically couldn't separate back then. So he was there.

"And when she met him, she was different. She'd been holding onto something, well you know, Oliver and Sara for so long. And when she met him, it faded away. Seeing her with him was the first time I saw her smile after they left. She fell in love with him. And he fell in love with her too." She told Felicity.

Matt spun Laurel out and the grin on her face felt electric. She lit up the whole place with her smile and spun back into his arms and swayed to the music with him. God, how different she looked here, she looked almost free, like she didn't have so many deaths that she still felt so many feelings over.

"What happened?" Felicity asked.

Barbara shook her head. "You know her. She had to go back. She needed to be a hero in Starling. And he had to stay here and be a hero on his own. They ended up breaking each other's heart. Two bleeding hearts who were destined for separate places," She told her.

"I've only ever seen her that happy with Oliver and Tommy. And only occasionally." Felicity remarked as the couple stopped dancing, but instead went and talked to two other people, his friends, Felicity assumed.

Barbara nodded. "That's because that's Laurel Lance in love. God, help her. She'll still open her heart to it."

Felicity thought about Tommy and Oliver and how possessive they could be of her. Matt had a hand on the small of her back, but he cradled her, never caging her in. He seemed happy that she leaned into Foggy and put her hand on him.

Foggy shook his head as Laurel turned around, away from Matt, "You look even better than I remember." He told her.

She shrugged. "Been working out," She told him. "Can't hold out for a hero. Have to be my own,"

Karen looked enthralled at her. "So you knew Matt and Foggy in college? What were they like?" She asked.

Laurel threw her head back and laughed. "They were huge dorks. Foggy would make us take these silly pictures. And Matt would rent DVDs without descriptive Audio and we would have to narrate for him, said it was because he liked the sound of our voice." She smiled.

Matt chuckled. "You know, you were a huge dork too. What about the time that you and Barbara got stares because you were standing next to her chair and they thought you were dating and so you plopped yourself in Barb's lap and put your arms around her neck?" He asked.

She nodded and guffawed. "God, those were the days," She said.

Foggy smiled. "Oh, and Lance had this thing for bugles. The chips." He told Karen. "Matt couldn't even hear someone crunch on bugles for years, after you left," He told her.

"Oh?" Laurel asked and he heard her eyebrow raise.

He sighed and shrugged. "Not a loss."

"Says you, I loved Bugles," Foggy pouted.

Matt shook his head, "Besides Barb told me that you couldn't be somewhere they played 'Drops of Jupiter' so..." He trailed off.

"That's true. Not for a very long time," She told him.

Karen shook her head. "I've never seen him do it for so long, it's a little weird actually," She said to Foggy as she looked between Matt and Laurel.

"It is kind of weird, but it's a good weird. A weird I could get used to," He said as he rubbed his cheek against the knuckles of her hand. "Speaking of, how long are you in town?" He asked.

Laurel looked down at her toes. "Only tonight," She said. "Had to pick up Barb and Tatsu and then we're headed for a little trip," She confessed, not really wanting to disappoint them, but knowing better than to lie. Matt would hear it and it would become a thing. And she didn't want to lie to him anyway.

"Don't be a stranger then." He said.

Laurel nodded. She really didn't want to be. "I'll come back," She told Foggy and rubbed his arm, an attempt to comfort him from the sadness. She didn't want his last memory of her to be sadness.

Matt took her hand, "We should probably get you and your friends back home. You've got a journey ahead of you." He told her and his smile faltered. His voice caught.

She gulped down the emotion of not wanting to go and nodded. "Yeah, anyway, nice seeing you both," She said and hugged Foggy, looking to Karen and smiling. And with that they departed.

"He still loves her," Karen said as Matt and Laurel got out of earshot, even Matt's earshot.

Foggy shrugged. "Those two have always loved each other, basically from the second I saw Lance smile at Matt. Kindred spirits. Been it for the long haul, but their both hero-types who think they don't deserve someone who makes them happy. Kind of dumb if you ask me, but hey what do I know?" He asked while he took a drink and looked around the room.

Karen rested her head on his shoulder. "You know a lot more than anyone gives you credit for." She told him, with a loving smile. "And they know that too."

He shook his head. "I still can't get over how she's like the perfect girl for him. Damaged, a little bit neurotic. Hot as Texas in the Summer. But she's good. God, she's good."

"Hot as texas?" Karen asked and flicked her eyebrow up, "That an objective statement?"

He nodded. "And you are Death Valley,"

Laurel smiled when she saw Karen and Foggy cuddle up close to each other. "I'm glad someone's there to take care of you two," She said to Matt.

He nodded. "Yeah, Karen's great. I mean, there are inconvenient things about her and Foggy, but I like her. She makes the world a little less gray," He said.

"I thought your world was red?" She asked as she carded her hand through his hair.

He made a content noise and leaned into her nails. He sighed. They were gonna have to get through it eventually, "So this trip," He asked. "You're not just going to the bahamas are you?" He asked her.

She shook her head. "No, I'm not." She told him. "And I can't tell you where I'm going. Only that I have to save Oliver's life. He made a mess of it this time and there is a high risk of death," She said. She took his hands in hers though and squeezed. "I want to see you again though,"

There was nothing to say. She made her choice. He wasn't going to deter her away from that choice. She wouldn't let him try. Because they knew each other. And if she gave in, just because he asked, she wouldn't be the same person that he fell in love with when Foggy brought her home for study group, the girl who at the bugles, the girl who warmed his heart when he thought he was destined to be alone. "I feel like I should try to get you off this mission," He joked as he attempted to turn his lips up.

"I forgot that was your church. I just stopped where my feet took me," She said. "Guess, I know what they were leading me to."

"Better days?" He asked.

She nodded. "Definitely better days," She told him with a happy smile. "And who knows," She told him. "You might see more of me soon. I do like Hell's Kitchen. And there are lots of people who need to be saved."

"I forgot how much I missed you," He said as he breathed in her scent, "Be safe," He told her as he put his hands on her shoulders. "And call me when you get back to safety, okay? We can't do this whole five years again. I can't find you in a church, praying for the strength you already have,"

She put one of his hands on her cheek and smiled. "I promise I can call when I get back to safety. And if I don't make it back-"

He shook his head, "Don't even start, Laur. I can't even take that. I just got you back," He said, a little broken.

"You know it needs to be said." She said, determined not to cry, because the look of pain on his face broke her heart. He gulped in air. She nodded. "If I don't make it back," She paused for a second and put his other hand on her cheek. "I'm glad that I get to spend my last night of happiness with you," She told him. "I love you, Matty."

He let another breath and nodded. "If you die, I don't know how I'm going to handle it." He told her.

She knew that. "I'm gonna make good. Trust me?"

He brushed a thumb over her cheek, "You've never given me reason not to," He told her. "Be safe,"

"Same to you," She said as she took his hands off her face and started to back away.

He took her hand and pulled her in one last time and kissed her, right there in the middle of everyone. He memorized how she tasted like afterhint of mint toothpaste, fizzy drinks, and watermelon lipgloss. When he pulled back, he closed his eyes. "Go, before I change my mind and take you back to my place, so you can't get on that plane in the morning," He told her.

They were both strong. Laurel left him standing there and he took a deep breath and went to stand next to Foggy.

"You okay, buddy? She okay?" Foggy asked.

Matt shrugged. "Don't think I don't know how you think we're both idiots," He told Foggy with a smile. "And we will be. Once she gets back from this thing."

"God damn, your blind superhearing," Foggy muttered.


	2. A Blessing in Love

"Laurel. Laurel. Laurel." His phone chirped as he came around into Jo's coffee shop where he planned to meet Foggy before the court date which Foggy insisted that they had, but he couldn't remember.

He immediately picked it up. "So you're calling me, which means that you're not dead?" He asked her.

"When are you supposed to meet Foggy for coffee?" She asked him.

He cocked his head, "Well, I'm rounding the corner now into the shop now, but how do you know about that?" He asked her. Just a minute later, when he pushed the door open, he knew exactly how she knew. "You were supposed to call me the second you got back to safety," He told her as he wrapped her up in his arms.

She shrugged. "More fun this way, Matty." She said, with the biggest smile on her face as she put her arms around his neck.

The door opened and the bells tinkled. He smelled the spicy scent of Foggy's aftershave before he heard him. "Well, I should have known the two of you would be early and in each other's arms," He said. Matt could literally hear the eye roll. "Well, this whole thing, sorry, Lance wanted to surprise you. And what can I say, I'm a sucker for the epic romance,"

Matt nodded. "I remembered how much you liked Made of Honor," He said, but he couldn't stop smiling at Laurel.

"Well, Karen and I have a movie to get to that I don't have to narrate, so you know, I'll leave you with Lance. Lance, remember I need him in working order on Monday. We got a case to win. And your boyfriend likes to take up lost causes," He chuckled as he patted Laurel on the shoulder and then the bell tinkled again and Foggy was out of there.

Matt turned his face to Laurel's and smiled like crazy. "You are a hellcat, you know that?" He asked.

Laurel nodded and kissed his face. "Someone's gotta keep you on your toes, Matt Murdock, avocado at law." She grinned. She unhooked her arms from around his neck and took one of his hands and pulled him out onto the street.

He took her back to his place. Laurel wasn't the first woman he'd taken there, but she was the first one who turned all of the lights on. Matt chuckled, because she felt like a butterfly on the wind, a heartbeat that positively fluttered.

"I know you're hurting," He said as he sat down on his couch and patted the couch down next to him.

She shrugged. The fight was bad. It hurt like hell. It was a good thing that literally everyone she knew was there. It still hadn't been easy. But she got through it. And she came back. Just like she told him, she would.

She sat down next to him and a tiny groan came out. "Yeah, well if I don't think about it, it doesn't hurt as much," She told him and kissed the corner of his eye.

"I have painkillers. You don't have to do this. I mean, you're not even catholic," He chuckled. That was his reasoning.

She nodded. She wasn't catholic. She sometimes prayed, but she didn't know who to or what for really, made her feel better though, sometimes. "Matty," She sighed, "I changed a lot in the last five years,"

He could smell the tears starting to form in her eyes and he shook his head. This was not at all what he wanted for their first official day back together. "Shhh," He soothed, "It's okay. We both did. You don't have to be anyone but you," He promised as he held her.

"I'm a recovering addict, Matty." She whispered into his chest. "Pills and booze,"

He nodded. "Recovering means you were strong." He told her as he closed his eyes, wrapped her in his arms, and focused on her breathing, a little heavy, but evening out. She was becoming less panicky.

She nodded against his chest, let herself deflate. She was so used to everyone judgment about this part of her life and having someone who wasn't doing that, well it was weird. But it was also Matt.

"You are still as good as you always were, Matty," She murmured and snuggled closer into his arms, getting comfortable, wrapping herself around him.

He rested her head on top of hers. "I bet a nice warm shower would help with some of the soreness," He said and she almost detected a lilt.

She looked up to him and his beautiful but unresponsive eyes and opened her mouth. "Are you trying to get me naked, Matty?"

"Well, it wouldn't do me much good, I can't see what you look like. I'm blind remember?" He joked.

She slid into his lap and traced his face with her fingers. Her nails were long, but they weren't sharp, they actually felt sort of good on his skin. "How about you join me?" She asked him.

His fingers danced on her spine. That was an intriguing offer. Naked with her, in his shower, that would be a good day. The idea of her rubbing his body wash in to her skin and working the shampoo and conditioner into her hair, she'd smell like him for hours at the very least. Getting to be an active participant in it all, well that was another thing entirely.

"Still thinking, Murdock?" She asked as she placed kisses, along his neck.

She nipped occasionally and heard his breath hitch as he held her closer. "If you keep doing that, we're never going to get to the shower," He croaked out, guttural and hoarse.

She nodded and took his hand in hers and made haste to the bathroom, where she undid the buttons of his button-up first and he all but grinned, when she held his tie in her hands. "Matty, you wanna know a secret?" She asked and even though he couldn't see it, he could she was smiling and there was a light in her eyes.

"Hmm?" He asked.

"These, you fidget with them," She said as she fingered his tie in her hands. "And it does things to me,"

He chuckled. "You wanna know a secret?" He asked.

She nodded and pushed his shirt out of the way, which gave her more room to loosen the tie.

"Sometimes I did it just to do those things to you." He said and whipped her around, that way she her back was on his front. She felt the pressure as he kept his on her hips, to keep her from rocking back, presumably. When he dropped his head and planted kisses on her collarbone, she keened.

She opened her entire body up to him, just like the old days. Just like the old days, it felt like nothing was standing in there way. Everything was simple. It was just her. And him. And a shower.

Which eventually they got into. When they got out, spent and wet, they went back to the bedroom and he got dressed in a regular t-shirt and jeans. She admired him. How normal this life could be. "I'm glad I came back," She said, affectionately, and with an infectious smile.

"I'm glad I could take your mind off the pain," He said, cheer threading through his voice, before he gave her a tender peck on the lips.

She nodded and laughed. "You definitely did that and then some." She promised him as she rolled off the bed and went to find something to put on. She found a crocheted top dress and nodded to herself. "I'm starving. Do you think we could find something to eat?" She called to him.

He nodded and wrapped his arms around her. "Before we leave, I have to ask something," He told her.

"Two weeks," She answered the question, without him needing to ask it. They needed time together.

He grabbed his keys, cane, and cell phone from the counter and she grabbed her purse. They left the apartment, arms intertwined and fingers laced.

They go to a small place, around the corner that doesn't serve alcohol. They ate with ferocity as food piled high around them and the amiable company was never too far away. This is what normal felt like, she thought. She hadn't felt in in two years, and even then, it still only had a fairly shaky place in her world.

On Sunday, they went to church. Father Lantom gave an excellent mass reading out of the first John. When it was all over, he came over to Matt and Laurel. "It's lovely seeing you, again, Miss Lance. It's been awhile. I'm sorry I didn't say hello more appropriately the last time you were in town." He said with a grin, "I see that god has blessed you and answered your prayers, Matthew." He said.

"You prayed for me?" Laurel asked, as she scrunched up her eyebrows. "Why?" She didn't care, necessarily, but it was curious that he would pray for her.

He nodded. "You were on a trip," He told her, "And I didn't know what that was going to entail. You were pretty clear it wasn't going to be an easy one," He sighed. "God grants us free will, so I knew you would come back if you wanted to, but it made things easier. To pray for you."

That was actually kind of sweet. She hadn't had anyone pray for her. At least not that she knew of. He put so much of his faith in god and god was clearly important to him, to be a part of that faith, it felt otherworldy. "Well, I'm here now, and I promise I'm not going anywhere for awhile," She told him. She beamed up at Father Lantom. "That was a beautiful mass. I forgot how this could feel." She told him.

He peered over to Matt. "You got yourself a good one with this one," He chuckled. "But I have to attend to some activities today, so unless you need confession, I should be off,"

Matt tipped his head. "Have a good day, Father Lantom."

"And you, Matt. Miss Lance," He said.

When he left, Matt opened his phone, he'd felt four missed calls from Foggy and two from Karen. He pressed the speed dial for Foggy's number as they walked out of the church. "What's wrong, Foggy?" He asked.

"Why aren't you and Lance at your apartment?" Foggy asked as stopped pounding on the door.

Matt rolled his eyes. "It's Sunday." He said.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Foggy said. And immediately as the words came out of his mouth, he realized what that meant. "You took Lance to Mass? I would have thought you guys wouldn't have been able to get out of bed this morning. And you went to church." He asked.

Matt chuckled. "Not like she hasn't been to one before. She met Father Lantom more than once. And I'm not going to discuss the other part of that with you," He said, awkward as they stood in church and Matt thought about what all Foggy suggested entailed. "So why were you trying to disturb me while we were at church?" He asked.

"Breakfast. I thought we could all have breakfast together." Foggy answered.

Matt turned his face to Laurel, "You hungry? Foggy is at the apartment and wanting food." He told her.

She nodded "Food would be great. Listening to how God is love and love is God, really worked up an appetite." She told him as she put an arm around his waist.

"We'll be there in ten minutes, why don't we all go to Rita's?" He asked.

Foggy nodded. "Rita's sounds good." He said.

They said goodbye and Matt hung up the phone. He waited until he could hear that the road was clear and then walked them across the road, without ever having to worry that they would get hit by a cab driver. "It still impresses me that you can do that," Laurel told him as she closed her eyes for a moment and listened to the sounds around her.

"You'd get the hang of it too, just with your eyes, instead of your hearing if you lived here long enough," He told her.

They finished getting up to the apartment where they met Foggy and he shook his head. "It's absolutely insane, the way you both look. I mean you practically fell out of a catalogue and went to church," He chuckled.

"God expects a well groomed flock," Laurel said.

Foggy waved her off and lead the way to Rita's. "Karen went ahead of us, made sure to get the table ready," He told them as they descended the stairs. "So did you guys have fun, yesterday?" He asked.

Laurel looked over to Matt and smiled. "Yeah, we found a way to occupy the time." She told him.

Foggy looked over to her, "Come on, you can eat him up when you get home, but Rita's, we actually like eating there, so you two can't get us all kicked out," He huffed. "Which means best behavior."

Matt slung his arms around her waist, "I know you've gone pretty far at Rita's with Karen, Foggy. I was at the table when you did," He grinned.

Foggy shook his head. "You're an ass."

"But I'm not lying." He said, simply.

Karen had a careless grin on her face when they walked in and she came right up and hugged Laurel. "So how was your trip?" She asked.

Laurel nodded and chuckled to herself. "It was good. Exhausting, you know, but it's good to be back where the civilization is," She told.

Karen chuckled. "That is far out,"

"You never said that you were going jungle hopping," Foggy noted.

They sat down and Laurel laughed. "It wasn't quite like that, but suffice it to say that there were not many modern amenities. Certainly wasn't easy for Barb to get around, but we managed okay. We won." She said and blushed a little, while she looked down at the menu.

"You had a case?" Karen asked, full of wonder.

Laurel shook her head and chuckled. "No, we had to save a couple of friends of mine from some bad people. Actually one bad person and bunch of his brainwashed victims, but you know, kind of the same thing in the thick of it,"

The waitress brought coffee out and sat it down in front of each of them, "You guys gonna need a few more minutes?" She asked. "Do you need any help?" She asked Matt, who straightened his tie.

Laurel put her hand on his knee and gave a territorial smile. "Yes, we're gonna need a few minutes, but I think we've got all the information we need," She said.

The waitress humphed off and Matt laughed. "You didn't have to do that," He told her. "I could tell she wasn't my type,"

Laurel shook her head. "Like that time that you were so cool with Cal in the study group?" She asked him.

"He was blatantly hitting on you. In front of me. I'm blind. I'm not deaf," Matt pouted.

Laurel snorted, "Trust me if you could see, you would have been able to tell, she was hitting on you too. While I was right here." She said and carded a hand through the hair on the side of his head.

Foggy shook his head. "You two are disgustingly cute. Now find food," He said as he picked up the menu.


End file.
